I’m not sure that I’m going to be any good at this. And by “this,” I mean creating and maintaining a blog/social community that is … not a disaster. I feel like this blog is off-track, floundering and that it has no backbone. And that’s what we need to survive in this world, isn’t it? A bit of backbone?
(Ok, I concede: the cockroaches and mosquitoes have done quite well without backbones. But for humans, it’s hard to survive without a well-functioning backbone to hold all our odd and ends together.)
And heart. Survival requires heart, and this blog doesn’t have much of that so far. And we need it because the goal of this website and blog is to reach out into the world and connect with other people who want to live more intentionally. We want to find a community of folks who can share and grow together. How can we connect with interesting people if the blog is just a jumble of disoriented thoughts without any emotion to bring it alive?
We need the backbone to hold it all in place, but we also need the bit that draws us in and ties us together. To connect intimately with other people we need more than common body parts. We need a bit of soul, of heart. Shared emotion. It could be laughter, sorrow, anger, joy, grief … but we need common ground that comes from within.
So this post is going to be flung out into the world with a tiny bit of backbone and mostly a lot of heart. For once, I’m not going to over-analyze. I’ve been frustrated with how this blog has started and how it feels … disjointed. I think it’s time that I stopped thinking so much and just open up the flood-gates of my mind.
I have been confusing overthinking with deliberateness, and in the process I lost my voice.
What I’ve realized over my 36 years on earth, is that I connect best with people that I feel are genuine. I think you know what I mean. When you interact with a stranger, or even a friend, you can get the feeling that there is a little bit of a shell on their exterior, a thin veneer of a facade to protect their genuine self. And I think most of us, if not all, wear a shell at least once in awhile. It’s a little bit of a divider between what we’re really thinking, how we really feel, what we really would like to say or act, and how we present ourselves to the world. I believe that frequently we subconsciously allow ourselves to be pulled along by the words or emotions of others and we don’t even realize that we’re not being true to ourselves. Heck, think of mob mentality, where a rational, peace-loving human can get caught up in gruesome acts of ugliness as they are drawn into a collective and lose their self-awareness. I think this can happen on a much smaller scale of a handful of people or even just a pair in discourse. But there are also people who wear their shell intentionally and purposefully. And I have never been able to be close to those people. How can you, if you never really know what they’re thinking or how they truly feel?
Anyway, the point is, that the people who are closest to me and who I have maintained longterm relationships with are those who seem to be genuine and honest with me. People who aren’t playing some sort of social game or trying to win points or build up who they are. They just are who they are.
I think part of the problem with this blog at the outset, is that I was trying a little too hard. I wasn’t sure how the blog content was supposed to look or feel, or what direction it should go in. This morning, I grabbed my laptop and started typing because I realized that what was lacking was just the realness, genuineness, the heart. The problem came down to me overthinking things and not just spilling out from my heart. Apparently, when I overthink I lose my voice. So this is a recalibration post.
Recalibration posts may be needed in the future: I am human. But here is what I will try to do from now on. The backbone of this blog will be to focus on our travel and lifestyle choices, and the heart is going to be an effort to spill, rather than overthink the content. Being honest may get messy, but at least it’s the real deal.